Nairobi · First message
No useful photo description? Start with the words you have
Start with available words
Use the profile text you can access and ask a question you mean. If a photo has no useful description, you can ask the person what they would like you to know about it, or choose not to discuss it. Do not pretend you saw details you did not receive. You may skip a profile that gives you too little information. You decide whether to mention your screen reader and what personal details to share.
Ife is starting to date again in Nairobi and uses a screen reader. A match called Baraka writes that he enjoys live music, but one photograph has no useful description in the way Ife accesses it. She worries about saying the wrong thing and wants to say hello without guessing what is in the image. The words about music are a real place to begin.
Use a clue you actually received
Ife could write, 'You mentioned live music. What kind of performance would you happily see again?' She is responding to Baraka's own words. She does not need to say, 'I love your photo,' when she does not know what it shows.
If the written profile offers little, an ordinary question about a weekend interest is enough. It is also fine to move on. A match does not create a duty to produce a perfect opener.
Two honest ways in
- From text
- 'You wrote that you enjoy music. What do you listen to on a free day?'
- About a photo
- 'Would you like to tell me the story behind your photo?'
Ask about the photograph without making it a test
If Ife wants to know, she can ask, 'Is there a story behind your photo that you would like to share?' Baraka may describe it, choose another topic or decline. Neither person must reveal where a picture was taken or who else appears in it.
W3C explains that text alternatives can convey useful image information to people using screen readers or Braille. That guidance is for making web content accessible; it does not establish how Baraka's dating app describes a particular image.
An honest opener
An opener from profile text
Invented first messages between adult daters Ife and Baraka.
- Ife
- “You mentioned live music. What is a performance you would happily see again?”
- Baraka
- “A small jazz show. I liked being able to hear the band talk between songs.”
- Ife
- “That sounds lovely. What made you choose that show?”
The question begins with available text and makes no claim about the photo.
Choose a starting point
What can you use today?
- A profile detail is available
Ask about that detail if you are interested.
- Only the image is unclear
Ask about it if you want, without guessing.
- There is too little to go on
Skip the profile or try one ordinary question; either choice is yours.
Keep disclosure and privacy your choice
Ife may say she uses a screen reader if that helps the conversation. She may also wait. If someone demands medical details, her exact location or a number immediately, she can decline and keep the conversation on the app while she decides.
RAINN recommends protecting personal details and using the dating platform's safety features. Those steps reduce some risks; they cannot guarantee a person's conduct.
A reply is information, not a verdict
A kind description or a thoughtful answer can continue a conversation. A response that mocks a request for access is a reason to reconsider. Baraka can also be unsure how to describe an image without intending harm; Ife gets to choose whether she wants to explain or move on.
Keep reading
Keep the first message simple
Sources and what they can tell us
Ife, Baraka, the profile and sample messages are invented. Platform experiences vary; check the app you use.
- W3C Web Accessibility Initiative: Images tutorial
It explains that meaningful text alternatives can convey image information to screen-reader or Braille users.
Limit: It does not verify the features of any dating app or describe Baraka's photograph. - RAINN: Tips for safer dating online and in person
It recommends limiting personal information and keeping conversations in the dating app early on.
Limit: It cannot guarantee privacy or tell Ife whether to disclose a screen reader. - Love is respect: What is respect in a healthy relationship?
It describes listening and valuing a person's feelings and choices.
Limit: It does not require Baraka to share a photograph's story.
Questions about an inaccessible profile photo
Must I explain that I use a screen reader?
No. You choose if and when to share that.
Can I ask for a photo description?
Yes. Ask if you want one, and let the other person decide what to share.
What if there is no useful text?
You can ask a simple question or skip the profile.
Should I move to a private number immediately?
You can stay on the app while you decide. RAINN notes that dating platforms offer reporting and blocking features.