First-date questions · Video calls
A first video date: what can you ask before sharing a screen?
Ask what each person wants to show
Before sharing a screen, ask what you both want to show and whether a photo, a description or no screen share would work. You can say no. Close private work material and check which window or screen your service will share. A person may still take a screenshot or recording, so show only what you are comfortable sharing.
Working adults Esi and Femi live in different cities. For their first video date, Femi suggests showing pictures from a recent walk. Esi likes the idea but uses her laptop for work and does not want a client message to appear.
Three questions for the plan
Esi might ask, “Would you like to describe the walk first?” or “Is one photo enough, or would you rather just talk?” Femi can ask, “Is there anything you do not want on screen?” Each person can answer, suggest another idea or skip the activity.
They can also ask ordinary questions about the place: “What did you enjoy about the walk?” or “Is there somewhere else you would like to explore?” A first date can be a conversation, not a demonstration of a device.
Know what the other person can see
On Zoom, the person sharing may choose an entire screen or a specific application. Zoom says an entire-screen share can show what the sharer opens or views. Its controls describe Zoom; another service can work differently. Check the actual preview and help for the service you use.
Close client files, workplace messages and notifications before deciding. A preview is useful but not a promise that nothing private will appear. Do not open an account or document merely because a date asks.
A conversation is enough
Femi can describe the walk, or each person can hold up an object they are comfortable showing. Neither person needs to turn on a camera, share an email address or give control of a device to continue. Choose a call method that works for both, or wait.
If something private appeared
Stop sharing using your service’s controls. If it involved workplace information, follow the organization’s usual reporting process. Ask the other person not to keep or share the material, but do not assume you can recover every screenshot or copy.
A date who respects “please stop sharing” gives the conversation room to continue. Either adult can end the call if they prefer.
Keep reading
More about video-date choices
Sources and what they can tell us
Esi and Femi are invented adults. Screens, settings and workplace obligations differ.
- Zoom Support: Zoom screen sharing security
It explains whole-screen and application sharing and the sharer’s control in Zoom.
Limit: Other services and device settings can differ. - eSafety Commissioner: Online dating
It discusses limiting personal information and choosing privacy controls while dating online.
Limit: It does not choose what Esi should show on a screen. - love is respect: Boundaries and expectations
It supports discussing what each person is comfortable doing.
Limit: It does not require screen sharing on a date.
Questions about screen sharing
Can the other person see my whole computer automatically?
Services differ. Zoom says others cannot see your screen unless you choose to share it.
Must I show a screen on a video date?
No. You can talk, share something else or decline.
Can I make every screenshot disappear?
No. You can stop sharing, but another person may already have kept a copy.