Parent dating · casual terms · low pressure
Explore casual dating at a parent-friendly pace
A guide to low-pressure casual dating for parents: set terms, discuss exclusivity and keep family schedules private while you learn what fits at your pace.
Notice the cue, ask what is true, and choose a workable next step for low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Written and edited by Grace Mutiso · Kenya Guides Editor
Say whether you are looking for casual dating, ask if the other person is seeing others and be clear about the pace you can offer. Plan adult-only dates that fit ordinary schedules. You can keep a child’s identity and routine private while still being honest about the fact that parenting affects availability.
Attachment styles · Parents Returning To Dating
How can casual dating stay relaxed and honest when parenting shapes a person’s time and privacy?
Low-pressure casual dating is an adult arrangement where interest can develop without a promise of long-term commitment. It still benefits from direct terms about exclusivity, contact, safer sex and expectations. Parenting does not remove an adult’s choice to date or require early family introductions.
Amina, 38, is open to meeting people casually after work and on occasional weekends. She asks what casual means to a new match, names that she is a parent and sets a boundary around family introductions. They agree to keep the first date short and public.
Casual · honesty · agency
Keep a light arrangement understandable
Low pressure should reduce demands, not create a fog around exclusivity, money or family access. Two adults can enjoy a date while preserving the freedom to decide what comes next.
Name what you are open to, ask the same of the other person and keep family introductions separate from early dating.
What is agreed now?
Use plain words for current expectations.
What time is real?
Offer a window that fits ordinary life.
What stays personal?
Choose which family details to share.
What happens next?
Reassess after a real pattern develops.
terms · honesty · expectation
Define casual without hiding important terms
A first meeting does not need a day trip, a private party or a weekend away. Choose one activity that is easy to reach and comfortable to end. If both people are enjoying themselves, you can decide together whether to continue nearby. Keep keep the first weekend plan small enough to change in view as you choose what feels workable.
Name the meeting point and approximate finish time before travelling. This helps you protect other plans and gives both adults a clear expectation. You can extend the date only when it feels comfortable, not because someone bought a ticket or made a reservation. Keep keep the first weekend plan small enough to change in view as you choose what feels workable.
Select a place where other people are present and where you can arrange your own departure. A café, public market, museum or busy garden path can work if it suits both of you. You may suggest an alternative when the first venue does not feel right. Casual does not mean that either person has to guess whether other dates are happening.
A person may prefer a different time or activity. Compare options and settle on a plan both adults choose freely. If the only offered plan is private, remote or difficult to leave, you can decline without debating whether your preference is reasonable. Keep keep the first weekend plan small enough to change in view as you choose what feels workable.
time · care · capacity
Set a pace around real family capacity
Travel separately for an early date, even if the other person offers a convenient lift. You can accept a ride later when you know what feels comfortable. For the first meeting, keep your own route, fare and ability to leave without asking permission. Keep keep your own route and end-of-date options in view as you choose what feels workable.
Check the return option before you go and keep a charged phone with you. Tell a trusted person the broad venue and expected end time if that helps. You do not need to broadcast your route publicly or share precise live location with a new match.
If transport delays change the plan, pause somewhere public and message the other person with the new arrangement. You can reschedule rather than accepting a private pickup or changing to an unfamiliar venue simply to avoid disappointment. Keep keep your own route and end-of-date options in view as you choose what feels workable. Care duties can shape a calendar without turning every date into a major event.
Consider accessibility, weather, distance and how crowded the venue is at the chosen hour. A plan that works for one person may not work for the other. Ask about practical needs before booking, while keeping personal addresses and exact routines private. Keep keep your own route and end-of-date options in view as you choose what feels workable.
first dates · access · pace
Keep early dates light and accessible
Share a first name and the information needed to meet, but consider withholding your home address, exact workplace, daily route and family details. You can describe an area rather than a landmark that identifies where you live or collect a child. Keep choose what a date can learn or share about you in view as you choose what feels workable.
A person may ask to take a photo or post that you are together. You can say no, ask that it stay private or choose not to be tagged. The other adult's account of the date is not theirs to publish in every detail. Keep choose what a date can learn or share about you in view as you choose what feels workable.
Keep account passwords, one-time codes, payment details and identity documents private. A request to confirm a booking or prove trust does not require giving a new match access to a device or account. Verify services through contact information you find independently. Keep choose what a date can learn or share about you in view as you choose what feels workable. A simple public coffee is enough to learn whether you want another conversation.
The Office of the Data Protection Commissioner lists rights that include information about personal-data use, access, correction and objection. Consult its official current guidance for details. For a first date, the practical point is that you can decide what information to share. Keep choose what a date can learn or share about you in view as you choose what feels workable.
Name the need, ask one direct question and leave space for an honest answer about low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
exclusivity · consent · clarity
Say what exclusivity does and does not mean
If somebody suggests a second venue, take a moment to decide whether you want to go. You can suggest another public place, finish the date or arrange a later meeting. You do not have to follow a change because it is spontaneous or already paid for.
Talk plainly about alcohol, transport and any activity that could affect your ability to leave. You are free to decline a drink or stop drinking. A person should not use a meal, ticket or ride to pressure you into intimacy or private access. Keep agree before the plan changes or becomes more private in view as you choose what feels workable.
Consent applies to each interaction and can change. If you feel uncomfortable, say what you want, move toward staff or other people, contact someone you trust or leave when you can. Your safety choice does not need to persuade the other person. Keep agree before the plan changes or becomes more private in view as you choose what feels workable. Exclusivity is an agreement between adults; it does not follow from chemistry or parenthood.
A respectful date checks in, accepts a no and adjusts without repeated bargaining. If pressure continues, end contact when safe and consider what support is available locally. You do not have to label the other person before taking care of yourself. Keep agree before the plan changes or becomes more private in view as you choose what feels workable.
Look for initiative, clear updates, repair and respect across a pattern of low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
privacy · introductions · choice
Keep family introductions voluntary
An online profile, video call or shared photo can help you learn, but no single check confirms the whole story. Keep the first plan public and let trust develop through consistent conversations and ordinary decisions rather than a dramatic test. Keep check a concerning request before acting on it in view as you choose what feels workable.
Do not send fare, emergency funds, gift cards, cryptocurrency or banking information to a person you have not met. If the person describes a crisis, pause and speak with someone you trust. Do not use a link or number that the requester sends as your only verification.
Kenya's DCI has reported a particular online-dating con involving a private rental in Mombasa. The report describes a case and does not measure risk for all daters or all cities. Public venues and an independent return route remain sensible choices for any first meeting. Keep check a concerning request before acting on it in view as you choose what feels workable. You can decide when a partner meets family, and you may keep that decision open.
If the person becomes angry when you decline money or a venue change, you can stop the conversation and save messages. If you already shared banking or account access, contact the provider directly through its official channel and seek current local support. Keep check a concerning request before acting on it in view as you choose what feels workable.
boundaries · response · respect
Notice whether a no stays easy
After you get home, consider whether the plan stayed public, whether your no was accepted and whether conversation went both ways. You can enjoy meeting someone without deciding immediately about exclusivity, a trip or the next several weekends. Keep review the experience before promising another weekend in view as you choose what feels workable.
If you would like another date, suggest a plan that fits your actual calendar and budget. See whether the other adult participates in choosing the activity and time. Mutual planning can look different for each person without depending on one person carrying every detail. Keep review the experience before promising another weekend in view as you choose what feels workable.
If something felt uncomfortable, write down the specific moment and the answer you would want next time. A single awkward exchange may be clarified through a direct conversation; repeated pressure or ignored limits may be enough reason to end contact. Keep review the experience before promising another weekend in view as you choose what feels workable. A relaxed connection should still leave room for a clear no or a change of pace.
Continue, adjust, pause or stop. You remain free to choose even after a good date, a gift or an earlier yes. A useful first meeting gives you more information; it does not create a contract for future access. Keep review the experience before promising another weekend in view as you choose what feels workable.
review · fit · next step
Choose casual only if it suits you
You can end a date with a brief statement that you are ready to leave. If saying that directly does not feel safe, move toward staff or other people and contact a trusted person. There is no single script you must use in every situation.
Keep your own transport option active instead of depending on the person you just met. If plans shifted or your ride is delayed, wait somewhere public and choose a new option. You are allowed to spend extra time or money to regain a comfortable route.
Some venues have staff who can help locate a taxi, call security or give you space. If you want assistance, ask plainly and share only the details needed. A date does not need to know who you call or what you tell them. Keep leave room to end the date in your own way in view as you choose what feels workable. If casual terms stop matching your needs, you can ask to revise them or leave.
A calm ending does not guarantee the other person will respond well. If contact becomes persistent, set a clear limit, block access where useful and seek current local advice for threats. Keep messages that matter only if storing them is safe for you. Keep leave room to end the date in your own way in view as you choose what feels workable.
Pause, state the need, observe the response and choose a next step for low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Eight moments in low-pressure casual dating as a parent
A message arrives later than expected
Check the agreed window and the context before assigning a motive. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.A planned call has to move
Ask for a practical update and decide whether the replacement time works. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.Two adults use the same word differently
Translate the label into present-day choices about contact and exclusivity. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.A trip is mentioned without dates or costs
Discuss budget, transport, lodging and a public first plan before booking. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.One person wants more contact than the other can offer
Compare real availability and decide whether the difference is acceptable. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.A person declines a request for private information
Notice whether the limit is respected without bargaining or punishment. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.A job or travel plan alters the original idea
Ask what is still true now instead of relying on an old assumption. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.The same question returns without new information
Choose whether to ask once, seek support or step back from checking. Consider how this applies to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Ask one specific question about low-pressure casual dating as a parent, then choose a response that respects your own limits.Fourteen observable signs of a workable agreement
Both adults can describe the current agreement in their own words. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Contact expectations account for work, sleep, care and travel. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
A moved plan receives a clear update when practical. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Each person sometimes initiates a conversation or date. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Questions about exclusivity receive direct, current answers. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
A person can say no without being punished or persuaded. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Privacy choices remain available throughout the connection. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Travel and accommodation are planned without assumed access. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Neither adult is expected to finance the other's urgent request. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
A phone indicator is not treated as proof of intention. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
A visit includes an independent route home and a workable end time. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Future hopes are separated from promises already made. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Each person can keep friends, work and restorative routines. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Repair follows a repeated disruption rather than endless apology alone. Check how it appears during low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
A cue-to-choice decision map
| Situation | What it may mean | What to do next |
|---|---|---|
| A reply is late | The timing alone does not establish a change of interest. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Compare it with the contact plan and ask if the plan changed. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A call is missed | A disruption may need a repair, especially if it repeats. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Ask for an update and a replacement window. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A label feels vague | People can give a word different meanings. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Ask what it means for exclusivity and contact today. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A visit is proposed | Travel creates costs and logistics for both adults. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Agree on dates, budgets, lodging and a public meeting. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A request feels too large | A need can be valid while a proposed action is not workable. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Offer a smaller request or state the boundary clearly. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A profile claim is uncertain | Online information may be incomplete or false. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Verify gradually; do not send money or documents. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| An answer disappoints | An honest no can still be useful compatibility information. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Decide whether the terms offered fit you. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Anxiety rises again | A familiar feeling may return without new evidence. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Ground first, then ask only if an answer would change your choice. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| One person carries planning | A single invitation is not a complete pattern. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Notice initiative and repair across a realistic period. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| A boundary is ignored | Repeated pressure affects trust and practical safety. The relevant context is low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Reduce access, end contact or seek suitable local support. Choose a response that fits your own needs around low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
Twelve ways to ask clearly and set limits
“What kind of contact can we both keep during a normal week?”
“If one of us needs to move a call, can we send an update and suggest another time?”
“Are we exclusive today, or are we still meeting other people?”
“What kind of relationship are you open to building right now?”
“Could we choose the dates, budget and public meeting place before booking?”
“I prefer to keep my address and itinerary private while we are getting to know each other.”
“I do not send money to someone I have only met online.”
“I like this conversation and want to take the next step slowly.”
“I feel unsure about what we agreed; can we describe it in plain terms?”
“A short update when plans change would help me organise my day.”
“I am not comfortable with that plan; I can meet in public instead.”
“This arrangement no longer fits what I want, so I am ending it here.”
Know the difference
An anxious interpretation and observable evidence in low-pressure casual dating as a parent
A strong emotion deserves care, while its explanation may still be uncertain.
The words, actions and agreement that both adults can describe.
Care for the feeling, check what is known, then decide whether to ask or act.
Care for the feeling, check the facts and make your own decision about low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Feeling, interpretation and evidence
| Type or dimension | What it describes | Best next question |
|---|---|---|
| Casual dating | Present involvement may be warm while long-term direction remains open. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | State whether you are seeing others and what you can offer now. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Exclusive dating | Both adults agree whether they will date other people. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Name the agreement directly and revisit it if circumstances change. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Long-distance dating | Contact and visits happen across separate places and schedules. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Plan a repeatable rhythm, costs and independent travel. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Weekend-first dating | Dates fit into limited days off or a short visit. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Choose one realistic plan with a clear end time. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Slow dating | The relationship develops without a rushed deadline. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Agree what information you need before taking another step. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Online dating | A profile or message begins contact but cannot verify every claim. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Protect personal details while trust develops. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Committed partnership | Adults may share a defined direction and responsibilities. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Discuss practical expectations rather than relying only on a label. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Open-ended dating | The next stage is not yet agreed by both people. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Decide when to revisit the question and what remains open meanwhile. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
| Visit-based dating | In-person meetings happen during trips between places. The detail may matter differently in low-pressure casual dating as a parent. | Keep flights, lodging, spending and time independently manageable. Keep the discussion specific to low-pressure casual dating as a parent. |
A simple plan you can use today
A cue is incomplete
An event in low-pressure casual dating as a parent can trigger worry without proving what another adult intends.
Labels need translation
Define the actual behaviour behind casual, serious, exclusive or long-distance.
Capacity changes
Work, sleep, travel and family obligations can shift without changing care.
Boundaries protect choice
A clear limit does not need to be justified by a diagnosis.
Repair is observable
An update and a workable alternative give more information than apology alone.
Fit is mutual
A person can be kind and still want a different kind of relationship.
Questions organised by purpose and depth
Choose a few prompts that fit the moment. This is a reference library, not a list to complete.
What is known?
Separate an event from the story you attach to low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
- What happened?
- What do I know?
- What remains a guess?
What should I ask?
Choose information that would actually change your decision.
- Which term is unclear?
- What answer do I need?
- When can we talk?
What can I offer?
Describe a contact or meeting plan that fits real capacity.
- Which days work?
- What is my boundary?
- What is optional?
What is my next move?
Use the agreement and repeated conduct rather than an imagined guarantee.
- Continue?
- Revise or pause?
- End the connection?
What deserves a closer look
Attachment anxiety is a lens
Attachment research can describe patterns of worry and reassurance seeking in relationships.
Evidence limit: It is not a clinical diagnosis or an explanation for another person's motive.
Responsiveness is not constant availability
Long-distance communication studies examine how channels and responsiveness relate to satisfaction.
Evidence limit: Associations in a study sample do not prescribe a universal reply schedule.
Distance creates asynchronous routines
Transnational family research describes how lives in separate places can develop different daily timings.
Evidence limit: That evidence does not predict the outcome of an individual dating connection.
Ask for behaviour you can observe
A practical request can clarify whether a plan, update or boundary is mutually workable.
Evidence limit: A clear answer cannot guarantee every future choice.
Romantic urgency is not verification
Official consumer guidance warns about online romance contacts who request travel or emergency money.
Evidence limit: Use local reporting channels and do not send funds to a new online match.
Choose from present fit
Assess words, actions and boundaries within low-pressure casual dating as a parent.
Evidence limit: A general guide cannot make the relationship choice for you.
Common shortcuts that add uncertainty
Using read receipts as a relationship measure
A status indicator cannot explain another person's intention.
Building a future from a label
People can mean different things by the same word.
Overloading a first visit
More activities do not guarantee comfort or compatibility.
Sending travel or emergency money
A compelling online story is not independent verification.
Withholding a reply as a test
A hidden test makes the agreement less clear.
Accepting a plan that feels unsafe
Travel cost or politeness does not remove your right to leave.
Choose what would help with low-pressure casual dating as a parent
This guide is editorial information, not diagnosis, therapy, legal, financial, travel-security or emergency advice. Check current local guidance and qualified support where needed.
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Sources used for this guide
Afrolu reviewed these health, research, safety, or public guidance resources while editing this page. They support the behaviour and safety guidance; they do not diagnose any individual described by a reader.
Questions about low-pressure casual dating as a parent
When should I tell someone I am a parent?
Share that parenting shapes your availability early enough for an honest conversation, while keeping a child’s identity, school and routine private until you choose to share more. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
When should a date meet my child?
There is no universal schedule. Decide when trust, consistency and your own comfort support an introduction; a new match is not entitled to meet your family. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Can a parent date casually?
Yes. Adults may choose casual dating. Be clear about the present terms, including whether either person is seeing others, and do not imply a commitment you have not agreed. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Does a weekend date mean we are exclusive?
No. A date or visit does not create exclusivity. Ask whether either person is meeting others and describe the agreement you want now. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Do I need to share my child’s school or schedule?
No. A new dating contact does not need identifying details to arrange a date. Share family information at a pace you choose and avoid publishing location routines. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
What if care plans change a date?
Give a simple update when practical and offer another time only if you want to. A caring adult can have responsibilities and still communicate clearly. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
How can I plan a Nairobi first date?
Choose a public place you can reach and leave independently. Keep your exact home and regular family routes private while trust is new. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
How should long-distance parents plan a first visit?
Agree on dates, costs and a public meeting place. Keep your own transport and accommodation, and do not transfer money under urgency. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Can attachment anxiety affect how I read a delay?
It may help to separate a feeling from an observable event, but attachment language is not a clinical diagnosis or proof of another person’s intent. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
When should I pause or end contact?
Pause or end when an arrangement no longer fits, important boundaries are repeatedly ignored, or you feel unsafe. Seek local support for specific threats. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Is anxious attachment a diagnosis?
No. This guide uses attachment anxiety as a non-diagnostic lens, not a clinical assessment or a fixed identity. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
How often should long-distance daters message?
There is no universal frequency. Choose a rhythm that suits both schedules, communication preferences and the present agreement. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Can I ask for reassurance?
Yes. Ask for specific information or a workable action. Notice whether the same question is being repeated after a clear answer without new evidence. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Should a first date include a full weekend?
No. A short, public plan with a clear end is enough for a first meeting; extend it only if both people want to. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Do we have to be exclusive if we travel to meet?
No. Travel does not create exclusivity. Ask whether either person is dating others and agree on terms explicitly. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
Should I pay for a match's flight or emergency?
Do not send money to a romantic contact you have only met online. Verify independently and use official consumer-protection guidance. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
What if I want a more serious relationship?
Say so and ask what the other person wants. You may leave a casual agreement that no longer fits. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
How can we make a visit safer?
Choose a public first meeting, keep your own transport and accommodation, and share the broad plan with a trusted person if that helps. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
When should I pause or end contact?
Pause or end when the arrangement no longer fits, important boundaries are repeatedly ignored, or you feel unsafe. Seek local support for specific threats. In this guide, apply that answer to low-pressure casual dating as a parent and make the choice that fits your own agreement.
One thing to do now
Choose the next step that fits
Describe what casual means to you now, ask whether either person is dating others and choose a pace that fits your life. Do not use a child meeting, a delayed reply or a surprise demand as a test of interest. Revisit the agreement if either adult’s wishes change.