Dating red flags · Money requests
Your online match wants you to receive and forward money
Do not forward the money
Do not receive or forward money for an online romantic interest. A person may use this request to move stolen money through your account. If money has already arrived, do not spend it or send it back yourself: contact your bank using its official contact details and follow its instructions. If you have already sent money, tell your bank or payment service immediately. Report the profile to the dating service.
Working parent Njeri has been chatting with an online match, Daniel. He says a payment cannot reach him and asks Njeri to receive it in her account, then send it to a third person. He says she can keep a small amount for helping. Njeri wants to be kind, but she is unsure why her account is needed.
Why the request matters
The US Federal Trade Commission warns that scammers may build a relationship online, send money and ask the recipient to pass it on. The money may be stolen. A person used to move it is sometimes called a money mule. Moving the money can put your finances at risk and may cause legal trouble.
Daniel’s story is an invented example. Njeri cannot know where the money came from just because it appears in her account. A screenshot or a message saying the payment is genuine does not settle that question.
You can say no without a debate
Njeri can say, “I cannot use my account to receive or send money for you.” She does not need to disclose her balance, her employer or details about her child. She can end the conversation or block the profile if she wants.
Do not open another account or share bank login details to help. A genuine difficulty with a payment does not make her responsible for acting as a go-between.
If money has already arrived
Leave the money untouched. Contact your bank through the number on its official website, app or card; explain that an online match asked you to forward a payment. Do not use a phone number supplied by the match. Ask the bank how to handle the funds and follow its instructions.
If you have already forwarded money, contact the bank or transfer service promptly, explain the situation and ask if the payment can be stopped or reversed. Keep messages and transaction details if safe and useful. Recovery is not guaranteed.
Get support without blaming yourself
You can tell someone you trust and report the profile to the dating service. The FTC also accepts reports in the United States; elsewhere, ask your bank or a local consumer protection authority where to report. People who have been deceived deserve support, not shame.
Keep reading
More ways to protect yourself
Sources and what they can tell us
Njeri and Daniel are invented adults. This article gives general information, not legal or financial advice. Contact your own bank for your circumstances.
- US Federal Trade Commission: Avoiding a money mule scam
It warns about online romantic interests asking someone to receive and forward funds and advises contacting the financial service if involved.
Limit: It is US guidance; reporting routes differ elsewhere and it cannot identify an individual match. - US Federal Trade Commission: What to know about romance scams
It describes how scammers build trust and advises contacting the payment company after a suspected scam.
Limit: It cannot promise that transferred money will be recovered; US reporting details may not apply elsewhere.
Questions about money requests
What if they promise I can keep some money?
Do not accept or forward it. The offer does not tell you where the money came from.
Should I send the money back myself?
Contact your bank first and follow its instructions. Do not send a separate payment to an address or account provided by the match.
Can my bank always recover a payment?
No. Contact it quickly and ask what can be done; recovery is not guaranteed.